Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
