Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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