Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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