I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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