1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
