Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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