So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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