We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
