i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
