It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
