I want to have your abortion
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize