I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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