Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
