i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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