Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
