How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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