Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
tell me about the eggs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
