I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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