Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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