i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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