dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize