It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
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Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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