I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
