they need to just BURY HIM!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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