you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
whose parrot is this?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you pee in the oven last night??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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