Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my poor anus
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
