My nipple is on Facebook.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
