I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
