I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
