I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize