guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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