Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
