have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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