I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
