There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
