I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
