This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
