i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
