He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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