So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Two words: nipple clamps
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