please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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