So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize