Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The Olympian is in my bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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