i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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