Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
