We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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