She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
