I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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