Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
