Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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