peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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