if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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