the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I will be naked everywhere
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
