I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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