No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
