And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
