I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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