I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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