Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize